


Making It

by nan



Series: Stucky Ficlets [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bucky and Steve are living together, Healing, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve's Drawings, brief mention of brainwashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:21:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3496553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nan/pseuds/nan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky was trying so hard to fit into Steve's new world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making It

He still felt like he needed to sneak around, sometimes. He knew his presence was expected, even _welcomed_ but he still hesitated in front of Steve's apartment, metal arm tensing as he stared at the front door. He'd only gone for a jog; physical activity helped and he waved off Steve's concern. It was easy to avoid other people, crowds, the crush of the city. Bucky jogged in a nearby park, nearly abandoned, with winding trails knotted with tree roots and holes and sharp rocks. He ran too fast for the terrain, risking injury, but it had helped; the voice in the back of his mind - _finish the missionmissionsmission_ \- quieted. 

But he couldn't shake the feeling of not belonging and so he stood at the front door, jaw set, flesh and metal hands both curling into fists. After a moment, he shook his head abruptly and pushed the door open, walking inside the apartment and heading to the living room. 

Steve sat on the sofa, head tilted back, quietly snoring, a sketchbook on his lap and a pencil dangling from his limp hand. Despite himself, Bucky huffed, a small smirk pulling at his mouth. With the way Steve had fretted like an old housewife, Bucky was surprised to see him sleeping. Surprised, but pleased. He didn't want Steve worrying over him. He didn't deserve that. 

Bucky made to turn away but Steve's drawing caught his eye and he moved closer, closer than he'd been to Steve since he first came back. They maintained a weary sort of distance from each other, one that Bucky appreciated ( _what if HYDRA could control him, even now?_ ) and resented ( _he could_ remember _them being closer, could feel himself gravitate towards Steve like a moth to a flame_ ). Standing over Steve, Bucky tilted his head to look at the image. His eyes widened and his lips parted.

It was a picture of him. It was sketchy and somewhat awkward, as if Steve hadn't picked up a pencil in a while, but it was undoubtedly Bucky. His eyes were cast downward and he was smiling - had he made that expression recently? - long hair tucked back in a ponytail. That was true to life, at least. The face was too soft, however, and Bucky realized that despite the long hair and the arm, he was looking at a figment of the past. Or maybe a hope for the future. Brow furrowing, Bucky stared for a moment longer, committing the image to memory, before Steve started to rouse. Slipping away, Bucky went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, pretending not to notice as Steve closed the sketchbook and set it aside. 

"Hey, how was the run?" Steve asked, voice rough with sleep and Bucky turned to him, resting his elbows back on the counter.

"Fine. Cleared my head." 

Steve nodded, trying hard not to look too pleased about that. "Great! Hey, Sam wants to get together tonight, maybe go get dinner somewhere. Are you up for that?" 

Bucky hesitated for a moment before glancing down at Steve, letting the corners of his mouth tilt up like in the sketch. "Yeah. Yeah, that'd be good." The stunned expression on Steve's face told him he did a good job and Bucky straightened up. "I'm going to take a shower." 

Steve blinked a couple of times. "Yeah. Yeah...that's...okay."

Bucky went to the bathroom and closed the door before staring at himself in the mirror. He thought about Steve's expression and slowly he started to grin, like the one he'd seen himself do in the Smithsonian exhibit. For the first time, Bucky felt like maybe he might _eventually_ belong in Steve's new world.

**Author's Note:**

> I just really wanted to write a little something that incorporated Steve's drawings. :3
> 
> [Come cry with me about winter soldiers and the captains who love them](http://yaynan.tumblr.com).


End file.
